Things I wish I could go back and tell my 15 year old self.

 I feel like 2016 has been a year for nostalgia for me. My favorite band from high school (and still now, but lets face it, they meant the most to me in high school)  went on tour earlier this year, and that sent me down and emotional path that was filled with songs that brought up a lot of feelings that 14-16 year old Ashley felt. I can listen to those songs now and still feel those things I did back then. I tell people "you want to know how I felt when I was 14 put on Good Charlotte Screamer." Because that song alone can spell out the feelings of a 14 year old Ashley.

While listening to those songs, and going through old photos, and even some old clothes I still have from back then, it made me think. Who I was back then, what I felt and how it made me who I am today.  It also made me think of the things I wish I could tell myself. Because lets face it, when you are 14, it really feels like the world is against you and everything sucks. With out going into detail of some things, being a teen for me for tough. I lost my father when I was 11, my mom wasn't really the mother type. Which really hit home with the song "emotionless" from Good Charlotte. The band actually played it live in Boston, and I broke down and cried, for many reasons. I don't relate to the father walking out on you part, but at times THAT song  alone is how I felt towards my mother when I moved out at 18. and that song alone made all those feelings of teenage me come back, and really made me dwell on the things I wish I could tell my younger self. So here we go.

You are beautiful, don't think otherwise.
If I could go back and do one thing it would be tell myself this. I look back at pictures of myself at that age and think "how did i think i was so fat? i was so ugly?" im 60lbs heavier now, and I love myself more than I did back then. My mother would tell me I was "fat" because I couldn't fit into my size 9 jeans, thats not something you should tell a teenage girl. I wish my teenage self knew that she was beautiful. Not from a boy, or her mother, but from herself. I wish she really thought she was beautiful.

It gets better, I promise.
Being 14-16 you think the smallest things are the worst in the world. I know I didn't have the best teen years, but honeslty I wish I could go back and tell myself it gets better. You get out of here, you move on, and you live a life that isn't perfect, but its pretty amazing for what you have. You are loved, and happy and have people around you who are pretty damn amazing .And you get to do things that you always wanted to do.

You don't turn out like her, don't worry. But people don't change.
One of my biggest fears was ending up like my mom. With out going into full detail because that can be a blog post in its own. I lived in a fear of becoming the person I least wanted to be. I was afraid of becoming that person that I hated most and I wanted to be the opposite of everything she was. She never knew that, and until a year ago we sort of rebuilt a stable relationship because I believe in second chances (unlike her.) but people don't change and I learned she is, and will always be that woman that let me down and was never there.

Some friends become your family, start trusting people
I didn't trust a whole lot back then, I had friends but nothing I thought could last or would last. It took a lot for me to let some people in and I am thankful for that. But I was so afraid of being let down, i rarely let people in. And I wish I did, I did have a small group of people that I had around me and supported me, but at times i would push them away for fear of if I didn't keep them close I would never be let down. And I wish I didn't do that.

I could really go on, but really those are the main things I wish I could tell myself at that age. I know in the end the things that happened to me formed me to be this person I am today, but part of me wished I had something to help me through those other things. Being a teenager is tough, and I sometimes wish I could go back in time, sit down and give myself a hug because a lot of times, she really needed one.

New Look, its been awhile.

I honestly feel like its been forever since I have sat down and written in my blog, If I am being honest with myself I was sort of stuck with what to do here, For the last 5 years I have written reviews, and sort of kept to the same thing, and honestly I was getting bored with it. Don't get me wrong I still love makeup, and fashion and I am still really active on my YouTube channel. Its just harder now to drop a few $$ at Sephora to write a few blog posts on makeup, and what not.And I have passions and things out side of makeup that I wanted to touch on, and I did, a little bit here and there.

I felt like I was in a rut with the blog. I had SO much I wanted to write about. But this felt like my fashion blog, even when I would write about movie trailers, or even conventions, it still felt like I wasn't happy with where this blog was going. So after about 6 months of sitting on it, I decided I needed to change that. I missed writing, and I wanted to write about different things, but still keep this blog. It has been a part of me for so long now. So after sitting down with Eric and sort of talking it out, he designed me a new banner that just said "haveyoumetashley" nothing with "a geeks love of" on it, so I would have the freedom to write and say kind of what I want with out dwelling on the fact that this is a fashion blog. People grow, and I was growing and I want to talk about more than just that. Does this mean I wont post outfits, and hair tops? NO I will always post those, it may just have a lot of other things in between. I have a few posts saved up that I have been writing here and there and they will be posted in the next few weeks, to get myself back into the swing of things. I will be posting some wedding things, some random stories and even some book reviews, and comic things. A lot of changes, but I feel happy about it. My life is more than just makeup and clothes, so I wanted this blog to reflect that. I hope you all want to come along with me through this change!

Lets Talk About Star Wars Lipsticks by Covergirl

If you guys have seen my latest video, follow me on instagram or twitter, you know I picked up the latest Star Wars lipticks by Cvoergirl. I wanted to buy the whole display, but I limited myself with all the power I had inside of me,

You all know me well by now, you know my love of Star Wars is pretty big, so the fact that Cover Girl did a whole line that had a slight Star Wars theme, even though  the fact of the matter is  it wasn't 100% star wars themed, it had some names slapped onto mascara and nail polish, and the lipsticks KIND OF were based off of light saber colors (thank you covergirl you copied my logo haha kidding, really), it wasn't heavily based off of the films, but more of a way to get people to buy things with the name star wars on it. Which I will say it worked, I was a sucker and bought the lipsticks, BUT ONLY the lipsticks I wanted. And if you watch my video you will see I do enjoy the colors, they are really decently pigmented and are up to par with other Covergirl lipsticks. Even though I wish the lippies had cool names I will say I am happy with the ones I got, and I am also glad I didn't buy the whole display because it said STAR WARS on it.

Check out my full review, and a little fangirl momment about how excited I am for the new movie above in the video.

And maybe come December I will do a "my experience seeing star wars opening night" post, because those are always fun.

Vlogtober, Weeks 1 + 2!

Hey everyone! This year I am doing Vlogtober! Which means weekly vlogs through the month of October! (some people do daily, I don't have that interesting of a life, ha!) So here are the first two weeks! Make sure to subscribe to my youtube channel to check out more vlogs, and what not!

Plus Size Outfit Of The Day - Black Lace Dress

I was on the hunt for a dress for my best friends wedding shower, when I came across this black lace dress at kohls in their plus size department, Let me tell you now I am not really happy with the plus size clothes kohls has, but every so often you find a gem like this one, I wanted a nice dress, but also a dress I can wear again after the wedding shower. It came in many colors so I figured black was the best bet. 

I love how this dress fits, its fancy, but not TOO fancy, and it is my style. I love the lace, its not cheaply made and it fits very comfy. I wanted to keep everything simple so I just paired it with black tights and black flats (all black everything? yeah its very me.) I feel dressed up, but also comfortable enough to dance! Which is very important. And of course my new cat-eye glasses make the cutest little accessory to the outfit. 

I kept my makeup very simple, and soft. Just used my trusty urban decay naked 3 pallet, the benfit blush in "rockatour" and kat von d lipstick in lolita. Kind of the perfect outfit for a wedding shower, but also keeping my own style taste. 

I hope you guys enjoyed my outfit! I am going to be posting more outfits because the next month is very busy, and filled with some cute outfits!

thanks for reading! 

- Ashley 

Guest Blogger Stephanie || Hartford Comic Con, And my first Cosplay Experience

I’m lucky that my job allows me to attend signings, events & conventions from time to time — however, I have never attended a comic con specific convention before. Last year for Halloween, my roommate, Daysi, and I decided to dress up as Tina & Louise from Bob’s Burgers. We started the search a few months early and were able to find a lot of the pieces for the costumes online.

At the time, we had only planned for this to be a quick Halloween costume for work. We had no intentions of actually cosplaying Tina & Louise. Not surprisingly, we found just about all the items we needed on Amazon. Daysi’s outfit was simple — lime green dress & pink bunny ear hat. For my Tina, I searched really simple terms like “Teal blue shirt” and “navy blue skort.” The socks proved to be harder to find. Why is it I remember seeing red striped knee socks everywhere until NOW that I actually needed them? I ended up buying a pair from a random Chinese shop on Amazon. I picked up the wig as a last ditch effort at a Spirit Halloween store, as opposed to cutting my hair. I have naturally chunky black framed glasses…. but they just weren’t PERFECT. It wasn’t until another friend sent me the perfect link to this huge chunky cartoon-y pair of black framed glasses that just SCREAMED “Tina!!!” With that, my costume was complete.

We worked together that day, as no Tina could be complete without her Louise… and surprisingly, our basic costumes were a hit. People were coming into our store specifically to take pictures with us. Another friend in another store was dressed as Bob and he’d come over and take group pictures with us. I went to Starbucks and the baristas gave me my drink for free purely because “Tina was their spirit animal”. We had planned to do Tina & Louise again for the next Halloween.

Then came Hartford Comic Con. Our store had a booth at the convention and while the rest of our team wore their regular street clothes… Daysi & I decided to bust out the Tina & Louise getups. We had never been to a convention like this before and were pretty overwhelmed with the amazing response. I don’t think I have ever had so many strangers ask to take my photo/take photos with me. As I learned over the past weekend in Con world, people wanting your picture is a cosplay success. Did I ever intend Tina & Louise to be an actual cosplay? No. Do I love it?? Yes. We’re addicted. We want to do more! We’ve added a Fart Gun to the overall display (One of the Despicable Me Minion fart guns. Perfect for Belcher children) and are working on convincing others to be more Belcher family members with us. I’ve convinced my mother to attend Rhode Island Comic Con with us under the guise of her meeting Hershel from the Walking Dead… under the condition she wears red framed glasses & a red sweater. She has no idea what she’s in for.

It was amazing to see a bunch of the same cosplayers all weekend in the same costumes that people recognize, and switching into new costumes as well. I am totally enchanted by the whole cosplay world and am now working on new costume ideas for future events!







Follow Stephanie:
Twitter - @omgstephanie
Instagram - @makeyourselfsic

Vlog || Haloween Shopping and Star Wars Struff!

Its the time of year! Haloween everything is out! And Eric and myself took an adventure to find some new things this year for halloween, as well as check out the new star wars toys! What did we find? Check out the video to see!